A dark, intense character study of a man who offsets many personal acts of valor and selflessness with a few acts of horrifying cruelty. Literal warfare as a metaphor for the main character’s inner turmoil. Big Philosophical Questions about good and evil, the ethics of interfering with less advanced civilizations, finding purpose in a post-scarcity society, and most interesting of all, what it means to be human in an era when machines do everything better than people, including the things we thought made us uniquely human.

Great stuff. I would have given it 5 stars if not for the twist ending. I have nothing against twist endings per se (in fact I love them when they’re well executed), but in this case I felt like it robbed me of a perception that I had spent 468 pages developing.

In any case, the scene with The Chair with the most unsettling thing I’ve ever read. It disturbs me even now.

Here are my ideas (which I’ll be cross-posting to the official crowdsourcing site):

• You currently utilize 100 different email systems for only 180,000 email accounts. Convert all of them to Gmail. Publicly ask Google, a corporate resident of California, to assist you with this.
• You currently operate 9,494 servers. To get an idea how excessive this is, consider that Facebook (which has orders of magnitude higher storage and processing demands than any government) currently operates about the same number of servers. Make your 130 department-level CIOs each produce a public online report that: (1) justifies each server; and (2) for each justified server, explain why it cannot be virtualized, put on a SAN or moved into a cloud for a fraction of the cost. I suspect you will find thousands of unnecessary servers.
• Implement a “Crowdsource Waiting Period” for new IT projects. The Statewide IT Capital Plan proposes the development of at least 25 web-based applications. Before awarding any of these projects to the usual gigantic IT vendors for the usual gigantic cost, require the Departments requesting these systems to post the functional requirements and a sample data set online and allow a 6-month period where any developer can submit a no-obligation prototype at their own cost. You will find that many of the systems you propose building from scratch can be developed at a fraction of the cost by building on top of existing platforms with existing tools. Some of these projects will still go to the giant IT vendors, but those are the ones which should.
• Any state government website that is merely informational or does not require transaction processing should be converted into a hosted blog (which can be operated for free at Wordpress.com or Blogger for example) or to a Social Network group (which can be operated for free at Facebook or LinkedIn for example). Then you can get rid of some of your 400 web servers.

That should get you started.

One of the simple things I need to do all the time—everyday actually—is confirm that particular files have been refreshed with new data on schedule (and then take particular actions depending on the outcome of these checks.) This is ideal grunt work to automate with SSIS.

In order to get a file’s Last Modified Date with SSIS 2008, you need to do three things:

• 1. Create a package-scoped SSIS string variable to store the actual date that your target file was last modified. Let’s call that variable File_Updated_Actual.
• 2. Add a Script Task to your package with a ReadWrite variable called File_Updated_Actual (it must be spelled exactly as it is in Step 1).
• 3. Add the following code to the Main() method of your Script Task (obviously replacing \\YourServer\YourFolder\your_file_name.txt with the actual path to your file):

Basically this code uses the System.IO namespace built into Windows to retrieve the date the file was last modified, convert that date to a string and then store the string in a SSIS variable.

Once you have the last modified date stored in a SSIS variable, you can use it anywhere inside your package. Something I commonly do is compare the variable’s value to a target date (such as the date the file should’ve been refreshed). You can make such a comparison by changing the evaluation operation of any precedence constraint to “expression” and then adding a simple equality expression in C# language syntax (which is different than the VB/.NET syntax used above for the Script Task—yes I know, this is one of many idiosyncrasies that give SSIS such a steep learning curve).

I hope that helps somebody out there.

Now, instead of that long and impossible-to-memorize URL, you can find my facebook page at facebook.com/jamelcato

Still, those blank stares got me thinking about the widespread lack of understanding of BI both inside and outside the IT department. And since I disagree, mildly or strongly, with all of the current definitions of business intelligence that I’ve found on the web and in books, I’ve decided to put forth my own definition. To wit:

The Cato Definition of Business Intelligence

The use of information technology to strategically collect, store, transform and deploy an enterprise’s data. A principal goal of business intelligence is to derive knowledge from information in a way that will facilitate improved decision-making. The creation and use of an Enterprise Data Warehouse is a common method of carrying out a business intelligence strategy.

Have a good day.

Here are some techniques I’ve learned over the years to deal with them.

Open your source file in a text editor (or its native environment), find the column causing the error and then place a single quote in front of the first numeric value in that column. This will force MS Access to view the entire column as text, even if it contains some numeric values. If you need to perform numeric calculations on that column once it’s successfully imported into Access, just open the table in Design View and manually change the data type back to a numeric type.

If your source data is a Microsoft Excel file, always bring it in with the Import Text Wizard in Access instead of its Import Spreadsheet Wizard. The reason is that the Text Wizard permits you to change the data type of any column before importing it, but the Spreadsheet Wizard does not. Simply save your Excel file as a CSV file first.

If you import Excel files into Access on a regular basis, it would behoove you to change the value of the following Windows Registry setting to 0 (zero), which will permanently force Access to guess each Column’s data type based on all of its values in instead of just the first 8 or 10:

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Jet\4.0\Engines\Excel]
"TypeGuessRows"=dword:00000000

(Disclaimer: Only modify your Windows Registry settings if you understand what you are doing and have a backup copy.)

If you try to import a file programmatically with VBA and get a type conversion import error, open your source file in a text editor, add a new row at the top of the file, and then enter “Jamel Cato” as the value in each field causing the errors. Then try it again.

If you’re using the DoCmd.TextTransfer method to import a CSV file and Access is skipping or rounding your values after the import, then try adding this line just above the line where you call TextTransfer:

 [YourSourceFile.txt].[YourColumn].numberformat = "@"

If your source file has a field with may contain a value with more the 255 characters, change the Access data type to Memo.

If the problem field contains monetary values (such as dollars), try changing the data type to integer or double.

If you have a particular format or layout that you expect to import frequently, save your Import settings as an MS Access import specification which you can use over an over again. The easiest way to create one is to click the Advanced Button, then Save As while using the import wizard.

If you will be importing a very complex source file, or you need to tweak the import settings of certain fields in ways not possible with the Import Wizard, then create a schema.ini file in the same directory as the source file you will be importing. You can Google the specifics, but in a nutshell a schema.ini file is a text file where you can hard code every possible Access import setting. This works best with delimited source files.

If your source file has dates in short format (such as 15-Nov-2008), but Access always brings it in long format (11/15/2008 0:00:00), then just create a query with a calculated field that formats the date the way you want. For example:

ExpDate: Format([YourDateField], "Short Date")

If your source data is a text file that Access refuses to import, then try using Access to make an ODBC connection to the file. You can do this by creating a new data source in Windows and selecting “Microsoft Text Driver” as the ODBC driver.

If you try all of the above and still get import errors, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that your source data is probably corrupt. The good news is that in the process of discovering this you expanded your skills so much that you could probably get a job as a Microsoft Access Developer.

Though Crichton is best known for Jurassic Park and the television show ER, I personally enjoyed Travels, his nonfiction memoirs, more than any of his fiction. What a life he led. The best chapter was “The Girl Who Seduced Everybody”, which left me laughing out loud, something none of his novels—as good as they were— ever did.

There are three things about Crichton’s writings that have always fascinated me:

First, no one researched their subject matter more thoroughly than Crichton. In fact, he was one of the few novelists whose novels routinely included academic-style research citations on the back pages. After reading a Crichton novel you feel like an expert on the subject. It’s interesting that such material would be so popular.

Second, despite the fact that nearly all of his novels had a storyline that was firmly science fiction, Crichton never suffered the professional misfortune of being labeled a science fiction author. The commercial success of his books meant they were considered “suspense thrillers that contained science fiction elements.” I’ve always found that mildly preposterous given his storylines included aliens (Sphere), time travel (Timeline), sentient robots (Prey), talking apes who live in ancient lost cities (Congo) and, most famous of all, genetically engineered dinosaurs (Jurassic Park). He obviously had a smart agent.

Some critics have argued that because so many of Crichton’s early books were made into movies, his later works became more like film scripts than novels. I have to say I mostly agree with this criticism, especially in the case of Timeline (which I loved anyway). More precisely my opinion is that many of his later works were undeniably written in a manner that made them amenable to screen adaptations. But hey, when you sell the movie rights to your books before you even write them (as Crichton did with every book after Jurassic Park), that tends to happen. The same criticism can be made of Tom Clancy and John Grisham.

Crichton, a medical doctor with multiple Harvard degrees, was enormously intelligent. Though he generally didn’t base characters on himself, all of his books except Disclosure featured a character that was extraordinarily knowledgeable. And that brings me to the third thing I admire about Crichton: Unlike other New York Times chart-toppers, he wrote novels for the thinking person.

His talent will be missed.

First the Easy Rawlins Series ends, now Michael Crichton is gone. The life of my mind has two gaping voids.

If you’re reading this, chances are you have strong Excel skills and already know what INDEX/MATCH formulas do. For the rest of you, here’s a short introduction:

INDEX/MATCH formulas, created by combining Excel’s built-in INDEX function and its built-in MATCH function into a single compound formula, are ideal when you need to:

• Merge data from one Excel list into another Excel list by matching records from the two lists; or
• Use a common field from two Excel lists to lookup a second (or third or fourth) field by matching records from the two lists.

For instance, suppose you had two Excel worksheets for the same group of customers. The first worksheet contains columns for Customer ID and Email Address. The second worksheet contains columns for Customer ID, Phone Number and Age. With Customer ID as the common column, you could use an INDEX/MATCH formula to add each customer’s phone number and age to the email worksheet.

For SQL experts, you can think of INDEX/MATCH formulas as a way to use Excel to do inner joins.

Quick Sidebar

At this point, someone is undoubtedly thinking: I could do the same thing faster in Microsoft Access with a lookup query in Design View or in Crystal Reports with the link tab of the Database Expert. You are probably correct, but this post is intended for everyday users who only have or know Microsoft Excel or situations where setting up an Access DB or a new Crystal Report is just not warranted. But I digress.

A standard INDEX/MATCH formula is written like this:

Index( value_array, Match( lookup_value, lookup_array, match_type ), column_number )

The MATCH portion returns a position in a list. The INDEX portion returns a value in a cell. So combining them together allows you to lookup a value in a cell based on the position of an item in a list. (What the formula actually does is use a MATCH function as the second argument of an INDEX function.)

Here’s the Trick

Instead of trying to digest all of the above, just rewrite the formula in the following way and replace the double-bracketed portions with your actual data or cell references.

=INDEX([[find this kind of value]],MATCH([[for this cell within the **first** list]], [[with a match within this **second** list]],0))

A few parting notes that might be additionally helpful:

• The MATCH portion of the formula is processed before the INDEX portion.
• If you plan to use AutoFill to copy the formula down a column, ensure that the lookup array is either a named range or an absolute reference to a range.
• You cannot refer to an entire column as the lookup array for the MATCH function; You must specify an exact cell range.
• The 0 at the end of the MATCH portion is optional and one of three possible choices (1,0,-1). 0 means find an exact match. 1 means find the highest value that matches. -1 means find the lowest value that matches. If you omit this argument, it defaults to 1, which is almost always what you want.

The first reason is that nothing happens in the movie. That’s not a spoiler or a clever play on words. Sadly, it’s a plot synopsis. If you can believe it, The Happening is an apocalyptic thriller without an apocalypse. Sure, there’s a cataclysmic “event” in the beginning. But then no chaos, excitement or real suspense ensues. Even though humanity is facing possible extinction, everyone stays calm, rational and orderly. In addition to being wildly unrealistic, such a storyline is boring.

If the “event” in the movie happened in real life, there would be widespread panic. Hazmat crews would be everywhere. Cell phone networks would crash. Children would be ripped from their mothers’ fingertips in the inevitable chaos. But nothing remotely like this happens in the movie. Actually, after the first 10 minutes, not much of anything happens, making the film’s title the ultimate oxymoron.

As if a dreary plot was not harm enough, the special effects, dialogue and editing are film-school amateurish. As many other reviewers have decried, I can confirm that there are indeed two scenes in the film where the microphone grip accidentally falls into the frame.

The second reason I’m so disappointed with The Happening is that, like many of his former fans, I really wanted to see Shyamalan redeem himself after the dreadful Lady in the Water. As bad as that movie was (and it was very, very bad), at least it came with the entertaining distraction that was the behind-the-scenes political battle between Shyamalan and the Disney executives who didn’t want to lose their jobs by distributing such a dud. The infighting culminated in a notorious scene at the Four Seasons Hotel in Philadelphia where an angry Shyamalan threw down his napkin and stormed away from a dinner meeting with “the suits” who, after previewing the final cut, had flown across the country to personally beg him to rewrite the script. (Historical Note: The film eventually came out without a re-write and the executives indeed lost their jobs when it flopped.)

If I met M. Night Shyamalan today, I would ask him one question: Where did we go wrong? The Sixth Sense is one of the 10 best films of all times. Unbreakable is an underrated classic. He wouldn’t admit it, but the answer is The Village, his third major release. Shyamalan was stung by the heavy criticism of the movie and, in my opinion, started to believe the experts who said that his film’s hallmark surprise endings had inevitably turned into an Achilles’ heel because it was impossible to surprise an audience who came to the theater expecting a surprise. Both Signs and Lady in the Water, neither of which included a twist ending, proved that the experts were wrong. Twist endings are not Shyamalan’s problem. But I digress.

Back to The Happening. It sucks and nothing happens. Wait, did I say that already?

If after reading this review you still spend good gas money to see this film, you will wish that a certain wind blows by the home of everyone who played a part in green-lighting it. You will go from wondering if Shyamalan has lost his touch to being sure of it. Your date will be pissed, not just because you saw a bad movie, but also because the bad movie lacked enough content for interesting dinner conversation.

Here’s a happening for you: On my way out the theater I thought I saw Bruce Willis crouched on one knee talking to a little boy. As I passed by, it sounded like the boy whispered, “I see dead movies.”

Although I really, really hate to see the series come to an end, it’s high time that it does. No matter how enthralling and well-written, any mystery series centered on the detective capers of a middle-aged grandfather (which is what Easy has become by the last book) is bound to become a tough sell sooner or later. I’m sure Mosley was more cognizant of that than anyone, which is why Blonde Faith ended with such finality.

Each book in the series has a color in its title. I had read four of the books and hadn’t consciously noticed this pattern until it came up in a magazine article I read.

A Little Yellow Dog was my favorite book in the series, followed closely by Cinnamon Kiss.

Jackson Blue was my favorite secondary character. Every time his character made an appearance I was reminded that a beautiful mind and an ugly soul can coexist in one person.

I understand about Easy and Bonnie Shay, I do.

Mosley’s depictions of postwar Los Angeles are so vivid and historically accurate it’s like time-traveling.

I discovered the series when a good friend of mine insisted I read Black Betty. I loved it just like she said I would and can’t thank her enough for the introduction.

Most people don’t know that Walter Mosley is bi-racial (his father is black and his mother is Jewish.) I only mention that fact at all to say that Mosley’s striking ability—and choice—to chronicle the joys and pains of the black experience in America is even more interesting than I originally thought.

Of the several themes that Mosley weaved throughout the series, the most fascinating is this: Your good deeds today will not absolve you of the evil you did yesterday. No matter how much Christmas Black loves and cares for Easter Dawn, they can’t ever be a normal family because of what he once did on the other side of the world. No matter how grand Jewelle’s real estate empire becomes, she can’t forget what she did to Mofass to get it started. No matter how much of a safe haven Laselle Latour’s female-only boarding house provides for women in L.A., it will never make up for the bordello that she ran back in Houston.

The only character who was exempt from the gravity of this moral black hole was Raymond “Mouse” Alexander, the diminutive killer who was Easy’s right-hand man. Mouse would shoot you through the eye for breakfast and go dancing for dinner. As Easy discovered on many occasions, having Mouse as a best friend was like keeping a full-grown tiger for a pet.

I will miss having another Easy Rawlins mystery to look forward to. Mosley is among the best writers of his generation and the life of my mind has been enriched by these stories. One of my favorite passages from the series is this:

Proof is a funny thing. For policeman and for lawyers it depends on tangible evidence: fingerprints, eyewitnesses, irrefutable logic, or self-incrimination. But for me evidence is like morning mist over a complex terrain. You see the landscape and then it’s gone.

And then it’s gone.